Musical Chairs

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."--Alan Watts

I can't think of a better analogy than to say that my life is like the game musical chairs...you know the one where there is one more person than there are chairs and when the music stops, each person has to rush to find a seat until one person is left standing?  Lately, I've been the one left standing!

Now, I want to make one thing clear before I move on.  In the game musical chairs, losing your chair is seen as a negative thing.  However, in my parallel life, losing my seat isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It just means that sometimes my seat is taken out from underneath me and I find myself making necessary changes in order to stay standing...and if I wait long enough, I'm sometimes offered a seat in return.  


Let's talk about the physical ways in which I truly lose my seat:


The Micro: I spend many hours on the micro each week going to and from my service site and I can say that I am rarely on the same seat for the entire ride...that is if I even get a seat to begin with!  In many ways, this is something that I really love about Cochabamba.  There is a high sense of respect for the elderly, expectant mothers, mothers carrying infants, and those who have some sort of physical handicap...such a definitive respect that most people stand and offer their seat to someone who fits one of the above categories.  I have been observing the interactions between the Bolivian people on the micro for the past three months and I am still so impressed by the amount of respect that I see every single day.  I've become very accustomed to offering my seat to someone who I know needs it more than me.  This can mean, however, that I move around the micro almost five times before I arrive at my destination.  Needless to say, taking the micro is one of my most frequent games of musical chairs.

Church: I think this is one of the most interesting locations in which I've ever found myself playing musical chairs.  The phrase "move your feet or lose your seat" has never been so applicable for me before as it is when I go to mass in Cochabamba.  When Michael, Lynn, Carlos and I walked up to the front of the church to have our feet washed on Holy Thursday, we walked back up the aisle only to find that our seats were occupied.  When we went up for Communion, we came back to a whole new set of neighbors...and seats in completely different places than where we started.  Another day when we came back from Communion, we had to stand because all of the pews were filled.  I never thought that going to mass could be such an adventure.  

And the less physical ways in which I have my seat taken out from underneath me:

Balance: Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there...alright. So maybe I took that from the classic TV show Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but I can completely relate to the Fresh Prince lyrics...especially since sometimes I feel like the biggest nerd walking around Cochabamba.  Between my short blonde hair (apparently my hair is considered blonde?), my extremely pale skin, my broken Spanish, and my backpack always on my back, not a day goes by when I'm not reminded that I'm the foreigner.  In general, I don't mind it at all.  I've learned to ignore the stares and really put myself out there in order to have conversations with the people I come in contact with.  However, what I was really noticing was how off-balance my life had become with the move.  It's so difficult to come up with some sort of routine and balanced life when I've been living in a temporary situation for the past 3 months.  It is hard to come up with anything permanent when I know that I'll be moving soon! I am so anxious to find a local Church community that I feel a part of and to also find my ideal balance between my spiritual needs, my health needs, my work needs, and my social needs!

Luckily, I have been so blessed to find the most wonderful group of friends here in Cochabamba.  They have been amazing in welcoming me in to their houses and in introducing me to Cochabamba from the eyes of Bolivians :)

Ale, Mer, Mari, y Yo!

Ale, Mer, Yo, Kae, y Elena

 Work at Madre de Dios has been really great lately.  With the monetary help of a few short-term volunteers, we were able to introduce the girls to Tie-Dyeing! The girls had a wonderful time and now have some brilliantly-colored t-shirts to wear.

Lizbeth & Luciana--Pre-adolescent girls!

With the Pre-Adolescent girls!

Luciana!

Emma!

My Adolescent Girls, Hermana Teresa, y Paulina

The hardest part about working at Madre is that the girls come and go so fast.  Sometimes they run away...even the ones you would least expect.  Other times they are taken home to another family member.  Sometimes they are taken to another hogar--a more permanent shelter.  Wherever they go, many times I never have a chance to say goodbye.  I always pray that if they have run away, that I never see them on the streets.  All I can hope for them is that they are in a much better place and have the opportunity to grow in love and education in their new homes.

Here's to finding an apartment and a good balance in the life of musical chairs :)

Paz y Amor!


        

Señorita's Blessings

"One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each others stories" - Rebecca Falls

Some call me Kitzi.  Others call me Kitty.  However, lately, my new name is Señorita. To the girls at Madre de Dios, I am Señorita.  

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I walk a few blocks from my house, jump on the Micro at 8:15am and take the same Micro for pretty much its entire route through the city until I reach the Southern part of inter-city Cochabamba.  When I see my urban landmarks from the Micro, I shout out "A la esquina, por favor", wait for the bus to slow down, and then hop off so that I can walk the last 6 blocks to Madre de Dios.

When I arrive at the gate, I can't wait to ring the bell.  Why? I am always welcomed by one of my adolescent girls with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then one of the little boys, Gabriel.  Every time Gabriel sees me, he runs to greet me and grabs both of my hands so that I can lift him up and give him a hug and a kiss.  As I walk through the hallway and up the stairs to our room, I am greeted by my girls with a "Señorita!" and either attacked with hugs or blown kisses from the younger girls across the hall. How blessed am I to receive this grand welcoming ever morning when I get to work?

A few weeks ago, we had a celebration for all of the girls who had birthdays in January, February, and March.  Here are a few pictures from the celebration! 

With Adriana and Roxana!

They are too funny!

With the girls :)

Most days, I love what I do.  However, like anything else, my mission work can often be frustrating...especially since I'm still so new!  I'm at a disadvantage for many reasons.  My first main disadvantage is that I'm still learning the language.  One of my strengths is my natural ability to form strong relationships with others within a short period of time and build even stronger relationships with time.  There's so much that I can say to another with my body language--my smile, my eyes, my openness and willingness to communicate.  However, one of my challenges here is the second part--the building even stronger relationships through time.  I'm often at a loss for words, here.  Words in Spanish.  I have so many thoughts and questions in my head that I still cannot verbalize! Although my Spanish improves every day, it is still a challenge.

I'm also at a disadvantage because I'm still getting to know the system--the routine, the schedule, the rules, why there are certain rules, how to be creative in a different language, where my talents and skills fit in, how to work with a large range of girls in the same room, etc. It is so difficult to try and teach in a language that I am still getting to know. 

What I'm really learning is patience.  I'm learning to be patient with myself--in how I speak and what thoughts I can express, in what responsibilities I can handle, in the trust that others have in me.  I'm learning to be patient with my adolescent girls.  I'm learning to be patient when I teach the same numbers and letters over and over each day to the two girls who are unable to read or count.  I'm learning to be patient when the girls have their difficult days and don't want to behave.  I'm learning to be patient in the housing search--in checking the classified ads and learning how the apartment process works here.  I'm learning to be patient with my internet--when I have it and when I don't.

I'm also learning to be patient on the days when things just are not going right.  This is the hardest one.  But, what I've learned is this...my patience comes from my strength...and my strength comes from the blessings in my life--my relationships.  Any day I have a really rough day, I take out my colored paper, my paints and my pens, and write a letter to someone I love...or many people that I love! Once I start writing, I can't stop :) I honestly think that I've written more hand-written letters while I've been in Bolivia than I have written emails.  I am truly blessed.     

I'm taking more time for myself--more time to read, more time to write, more time to create.  In reality, I'm taking more time to just be me...something that I've really been missing since I've been here.  I finally bought a guitar here and am just so happy to have music to turn to once again. 

I also have been spending time with Theresa Hayes and the other students at the institute.  We went on an amazing trip to Pairumani Park up in the mountains.  A picture is worth a thousand words.

Theresa and I!

Theresa and I with our new Jesuit Seminarian friend, Sal

T!

We hiked to a beautiful waterfall!

Yoga :)

With my good friend, Donna :) It is so great to have her in Bolivia

Waterfall!

I just thought this was so cool!

We also celebrated one of the other student's birthdays last night and it was so great! One of the students, Matt, and I were talking and we realized that I have met his daughter!! My good friend Laurissa was roommates all four years with her during college and I've met her a few times :) Such a small world! Cheers from Matt and I!

Here's to another great week :)

Much Love!!

Kitzi

The Good, the Challenging, and the Ugly

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

This past week has been wonderful, challenging, and fearful for me all at the same time--in short, a pretty good representation of what it means to be a missioner in another country.  

First, I want to start with fearful.

So far, my posts have been pretty upbeat.  I have, of course, had my frustrating moments, but nothing that would push me over the edge.  Throughout my life, however, there is one thing that I've learned can really challenge me to look fear in the face--health.  Whether or not it is my own physical health, the physical health of a loved one, my emotional health, or my mental health, the idea of feeling powerless over my emotions or my body scares me to death.  There are few things that are scarier for me than not being able to breathe when I'm enduring an asthma attack.  That physical feeling of no air entering my body and the effect that it has on my mental state is one that I can only hope to forget someday.  Or the intense memory that I have from one of my many visits to the beach when I was young.  I must have been about seven years old, but I still remember the moment like it was yesterday.  I remember being pulled under water by the waves and having no control over my breath and my body.  I kept looking up towards the sun, trying to make my way to the surface, but with no success.  What lasted only a few seconds seemed like an entire lifetime under water.  I was lucky to be thrown up onto the surface, but it is a feeling that I can never forget to this day. 

[c  sdcjh j fkj,mn,0[op;;y --> words from my host sister, who turned one today!]        

Yesterday, I had another one of those experiences that will forever be a moment of fearful remembrance throughout my life.  [Note: I am feeling fine now...much much better.  No need to be concerned :)] 

Have you ever blinked and come to the realization that even after you opened your eyes again, you couldn't see a darn thing?

Yesterday, I experienced just that...and more. This week, I started volunteering full-time at a shelter for women, adolescent girls, and children who have been abused, neglected, and abandoned. (I'll talk about this a little more later on, but I just wanted to provide you with an idea of my day and location.) Every morning, I flag down a micro at about 8:15am in order to arrive at my service site by 9am. Needless to say, it takes about 45 minutes to an hour with traffic in the city to get to work every day! Generally, I don't mind the ride. It gives me a little bit of time to think and to observe the sites and the people around me. However, after I arrived at the shelter, I started going downhill fast. I could barely concentrate, I was fluctuating between extremely cold and extremely hot body temperatures, I had no energy to provide to the girls, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I decided to wait until lunch time to go home early...yet that still meant that I needed to walk to the correct streets (about 7 blocks away), flag down a micro, and stay on the micro for another 45 minutes in order to get home. Doesn't sound too awful, right? Well, if you have ever been on a bus in a developing country, you know that they are not always the most comfortable rides...especially when there are a ton of people trying to get back home! In Cochabamba, every person (even students) has a two hour break for lunch so that he or she can eat at home as a family...twelve o'clock is a busy time of day throughout the city.

This is a micro

I flagged down a micro just in time to get a seat. However, I was losing energy fast! I sat down, closed my eyes and put down my head on the seat in front of me for a few minutes, and when I sat up again, I had absolutely no sight. I had lost all vision...and it wouldn't come back! I was completely terrified sitting on the bus, surrounded by tons of people whom I couldn't see. I kept blinking, but everything was continuously dark. And not only did I lose my vision, but I also felt like I was going to be sick. All I could do was pray. Please God, just let me see. Please just let me see. I was trying to think of possible solutions, but I couldn't even process what was going on. After gagging a few times, I knew that I couldn't stay on the bus. Even though I couldn't see, I stood up, felt my way to the front of the bus, told the bus driver "voy a bajar, ahora" (I am going to get off right now), and stumbled my way down the steps of the bus and off the street. I walked straight and found my way to a wall so that I could sit down. Luckily, I have taken that same bus route many times and have paid attention to the feel of the streets. I knew that I was somewhat close to my house, but I didn't know exactly how far away I was. I kept trying to think of a solution, but everything I came up with required vision! I could call my host dad, but I didn't know his phone number by heart. I could get a taxi, but I couldn't see in order to flag one down. After sitting for about five minutes, I finally regained my sight and could look around. I was only about a half mile from my house, yet I didn't have the ability to walk very far. All I can say is that my prayers were answered when 1. I regained my sight and 2. I saw my host dad's car drive by. One of their car windows is broken and covered by plastic and scotch tape, so it is easy to see from the right side. I have never been so happy to see that broken window. I took out my phone, called my host dad and said "Raul, me pasaste. Yo necesito ayuda" (Raul, you passed me. I need help). I couldn't explain exactly where I was but I just told him to turn around and look for me.  Within five minutes, he found me and took me home.  My host mom took care of me all day, I stayed in bed from about 1pm-8am this morning and am feeling much much better. I've spent today just resting and am almost back to my normal self :)

Now, I didn't tell this story to scare my family, frighten my friends, or terrify future missioners...rather, to describe the reality of my life here.  Most days, everything is really great.  Different and challenging, but great.  But, these things happen and it is important to be prepared when they happen.  I am so lucky that I have paid attention to the feeling of the streets on the Micro route and could use my other senses in order to find my way back home.  And I have a regained sense of confidence because I know that I can make fairly good decisions under pressure and difficult circumstances, even when they regard my own health and situation. And I also know what I turn to first in times of need--my faith in God.  So despite the fact that I was stuck in hell for a while yesterday, I learned so much about myself.  I also don't think I will be eating hamburgers any time soon.  I have had food poisoning from only hamburgers in my lifetime...both in the states and here.  No mas.          

Now, to the better challenging parts of my life.

Like I mentioned a little bit earlier, I started volunteering full-time this week at Madre de Dios--a shelter for women, adolescent girls, and children who have been abused, neglected and abandoned by their families or partners.  I first visited this site with the Maryknoll Institute and fell in love with it immediately.  I called Hermana Mery (the sister in charge of Madre) once I finished language school and set up a time to meet with her this past Monday.  Although I would prefer to work with children between the ages of 7 and 12, Hermana told me that they had a great need for someone who could work with the adolescent girls...so I agreed! I am now working every day with adolescent girls between the ages of 12 and 15 who have been abused or abandoned by their families.  Right now, I pretty much tutor them in reading, grammar, and math...which, by the way, is extremely difficult when I am still learning the Spanish grammar! I don't think I've ever been so excited to see math problems in my entire life.  I told one of the other sisters that I would be happy to help out with math until I understood the grammar well enough to teach the girls.  Never in a million years would I have thought this would be the case! Anyways, I love what I am doing right now.  It is extremely difficult and sometimes the girls just do not want to listen or learn, but I love them anyways. 

I really enjoy getting to spend time with them during our lunch breaks each day.  A few days ago, they loved playing with my camera, so now I have some pictures to share, as well!

Working on reading with Ingrid!

What a cutie

My girls Raquel and Adriana

My girls :)

With the other volunteer, Paulina, from Poland.

And, lastly, the purely wonderful.

This past Saturday, I had a chance to attend Carnaval en Cochabamba--a festival that, in general, leads up to Ash Wednesday and Lent.  Here in Cochabamba, there is a huge parade with traditional dancing, more modern dancing, and lots and lots of water and foam.  Here are a few pictures :)

Caporales Dancer

Tinku Dancer

Tinku

Tinku

Tinku

Diablada

Caporales

Traditional Quechua Woman

Afro-Boliviano Traditional Dance

Hope all is well in your respective locations :)

Much love, abrazos, and no mas hamburguesas,

Kitzi

 

The Rising of the Sun

"The earth is supported by the power of truth; it is the power of truth that makes the sun shine and the winds blow; indeed all things rest upon truth." Chanakya


February 18, 2012

The sun is shining and the air is clear. It is a beautiful day here in Cochabamba.

It is amazing how the rising of the sun and the setting of the rain can be the gateway to an open-mind and a clear head. Lately, it has been such a whirlwind here. It is truly hard to believe that I am already about to start my final week of language school. (Today is actually my last day of classes! I wrote this over the weekend and haven’t had the internet connection to post it!) With a few big decisions on my mind, including finding a place to live, working on the visa process, and discerning volunteer sites, the time just flew by! I am very happy to say, however, that I will be living with my host family for the next few months. They are wonderful and have opened up their home and their hearts to me after school ends, despite the change in my available budget. I am forever grateful and am blessed to be welcomed into such a beautiful family.

Knowing that I have a place to live for the next few months is such a relief…not only because my school days are coming to an end, but also because people were asking me about my plans EVERY DAY! I think they were more nervous about it than I was, which tends to increase the stress regarding the situation at a considerable rate. However, after making a final decision with my host family, time has slowed down. I am so excited to finally focus on where I may want to volunteer for the next two years! I have a few places in mind, but no decisions have been made yet. I am just beginning my discernment process…TODAY!

Today is one of the first days that I have been able to truly enjoy my day off and I am so grateful for it! My host family invited me to go to the Cancha with them, but I graciously declined. When I woke up this morning, I knew exactly what I wanted to do today—just be! I thought of all of the things that I loved to do on a sunny day at home and those things are exactly what I did!

My host sister Ariana turns 1 in a week and I offered to make the invitations! They are a lot of work and my host family thinks I’m a little nuts for having so much patience with them, but I really enjoy it! Making the invitations actually reminds me of making doortags when I was an RA. Although they took a long time and were always due right when school became increasingly more difficult, it was always one of my favorite required responsibilities. I love setting aside time for arts and crafts. I crave time for creativity and imagination, especially when I have free reign over the finished product. Here’s what I came up with:

I also spent time drinking coffee and listening to music in the sun! When I was home in August for a few weeks, I would wake up in the morning, make a cup of coffee, pick out music for the day, and then go outside and sit in the sun for the entire morning. Most days, I would bring out a book, my journal, or my guitar. Other days, I would sip on a glass of wine and just be. What a treasure it is to just be! I can’t think of a better way to spend a free Summer afternoon.

I think the only thing that would have made my day a little more complete is if I could have played guitar. I have been missing music a lot, especially in the evenings and on beautiful days like this. I did, for the first time since I have been in Cochabamba, take out my songwriting journal today! I had a chance to flip through old songs and half-written lyrics and it felt so great! It is amazing how, even two years later, lyrics and memories seem so alive and so true. What a gift.

I haven’t had internet access for the past week and it has actually been very refreshing! I do look forward to responding to unread emails and missed facebook messages in the next few days. However, it is amazing where I find myself spending my extra time! I need to figure out a way to successfully limit my internet usage when I have constant access to the web. Suggestions?

I’ve had a few tough and frustrating days in the past, but, as true as anything else, they come and go. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be here and I keep myself in check by counting my blessings and reminding myself of these blessings every day. 

I’ll leave you all with a list of things that I’m grateful for:

Theresa!

1. Really wonderful friends and family in all parts of the world, who, thanks to technology, I can contact at any given moment. I have the best and most supportive people in my life. Thanks for listening on my good days and on my difficult days. There are a few letters headed your way :)
2. A really wonderful host family that always makes sure I’m safe and well-fed.
3. Music!
4. Sleep—especially mid-day siestas!
5. The gifts of patience and flexibility
6. Knowing that my good friend Theresa Hayes will be arriving in Cochabamba TOMORROW 
7. Sunny days
8. New friends in Cochabamba
9. Time to myself
10. The nights that I sing my host sister to sleep by singing “Sanctuary”
11. A sense of humor, even when the going gets tough
12. Coffee!
13. Arts, Crafts and the gift of words
14. A hot (or warm) shower most days 

I'd also like to introduce you all the the newest members of my family...Pinkie and Beethoven!

And here’s my Bolivian playlist for the last few weeks…with all of my favorite songs in Spanish!

1. Cara Luna--Bacilos
2. Elefantes--Natalia Lafourcade
3. Yo No Quiero--Jesse & Joy
4. Gitana--Shakira
5. Primer Dia--Julieta Venegas
6. Acaramelao--Las Marti ft. Dyalnd & Lenny
7. Invisible--Luis Enrique
8. Yerbatero--Juanes
9. Cuando Me Enamaro--Enrique Iglesias
10. Colgando en tus Manos--Martha Sanchez
11. Esas Son Puras Mentiras--Los Amigos Invisibles
    
    
    Lots of Love and Besos,
    
    Kitzi

An Open Heart

 "Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
-Mother Teresa

I've been thinking a lot about my life here in Cochabamba lately and the one word that I keep coming back to is enjoyable.  My life here is enjoyable.

Enjoy: To experience with joy

"Joy is something that is unaffected by circumstances. It is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. Joy is deep. It is a settled state of contentment, confidence and hope"--Bruce Goettsche 

I enjoy living one moment at a time.  I enjoy partaking in new activities as they arise--even the unfamiliar ones.  I enjoy seeing what each new day has in store for me.  I enjoy making new friends on the street every morning and afternoon.  I enjoy trying to flag down a micro or a trufi--even if they pass me multiple times.  I enjoy spending Sundays with both sides of the family here--even when I am extremely tired.  I enjoy making a fool out of myself while trying to learn a new language--even when it can be frustrating at times.  I enjoy going to school--even when sometimes the last thing I want to do in the morning is sit in class for four hours.  I enjoy feeling a little uncomfortable in situations.

I do not like walking past the beggars on the street, but I enjoy looking into their eyes and presenting all that I have to offer--my heart.  I do not like getting honked at or whistled at while walking down the street, but I enjoy the constant reminder that I am alive and walking.        

I remember reading and answering one of the questions regarding change on my application for FMS and I think it is still as true now as it was when I shared it with FMS half a year ago.

How do you respond to change?


I respond to change fairly well because I have grown to realize how important these experiences are in my personal and spiritual growth. At first, the idea of a huge change is frightening for me. I am the type of person who really likes to think things through and when a life change occurs, it usually isn’t in just one aspect of my life, but it is multi-faceted. However, once the initial shock wears off, I am able to fully process these events and recognize how they might affect me later on. I constantly remind myself of how strong I am and how that strength will never leave me because it is a strength that is based upon my relationship with God. If I had to describe myself in regards to change, I would say I am a go-getter and I choose to place myself in situations that may change everything that I am used to. I’m not comfortable with being comfortable (if that makes sense). In being comfortable, I know that I am so often just remaining stagnant in my growth and in my relationships with others. I like to push myself outside of my boundaries and engage in meaningful relationships that may not have occurred if I stayed within my comfort zone. 

Many people tell me that I am adventurous in my life choices.  Maybe it is true in some ways, but what it really comes down to is this: not only do I choose to accept change, but I embrace it.  Ever since I entered into my freshman year of high school, I sought out activities and experiences that would push me beyond the comfort of familiarity.

Homecoming 2005, I believe.   :)

• After attending public schools throughout my primary education, I was the only girl who decided to go to St. Francis High School from either of the schools I had previously attended.   I can't imagine my life without my musical, academic, and personal experiences at SFHS. 

At a Buddhist Temple in Japan

• When, after talking with my parents, I found out that I couldn't go to Europe on a cultural immersion trip with my high school, I sought out every possible way to go abroad.  In the end,  I spent three months teaching English in Japan at 16.  I doubt I would be anywhere close to Latin America if I hadn't have lived in Japan during the summer of 2006.  It is because of my Japanese host family and many other remarkable people that I know the true meaning of hospitality.            

• Creighton University--I wanted to branch out from my comfort zone and immerse myself in unfamiliar territories with a variety of different types of people. When I chose Creighton University, I had never been to the Midwest before and did not have any family or friends in the Midwest. I was captivated by the values of the Jesuits at Creighton and by the community of students at the University. Although I didn't know anybody at first, the new experience and culture encouraged me to become more independent and to share myself with all of the people I was meeting. Because I put myself outside of my comfort zone, I experience and learned more than I could ever imagine. I learned about true hospitality and the gifts of compassion and love. I often couldn't go home for family holidays or vacations, so my new friends took me home to their families and they embraced me as one of their own children. After spending four years at Creighton, I can now say that I have many close families who I am incredibly grateful for--The Rice Family, The Seiwert Family, The Seifert Family, The Reiff Family, The DeVera Family, The Laffey Family, The Carrillo Family, The Rizzo Family, The Kruse Family...just to name a few! This group of families also includes the faculty, staff, and maintenance crew at Creighton who have invited me in to their lives and shared such an important part of themselves with me.  

Winter 2007

Life is life. I take it one day, one hour, one moment at a time and I can't be happier. It is, of course, different than the US. However, I choose not to compare my lifestyles.  After almost one month of living in Cochabamba, I am still so grateful that I chose to come here without any expectations.  Everything is new.  Everything is supposed to be new...and just because it is new doesn't mean that is better or worse than the US.  Life is different and I'm truly embracing the knowledge that my eyes, my ears, my nose, my mouth, and my fingers bring to me each and every day.

Everything seems very natural here for me.  I take public transportation by myself every morning.  I walk the streets in the sun and in the rain.  I smile. I laugh. I try to speak. I sleep. I love. I dance. I sing. I wave. I eat. I write. I take pictures. I study. I pray. I boil my water. I sit in the sun. I get frustrated. I read. I listen to music. I email. I facebook. I drink coffee. I make new friends. I hug. I share. Although I may complete each of these tasks in a different way, the very core of my life is the same--I live with an open heart.    

And for all of you who have been missing my Bolivian Playlists...I have one for you :)

1. Listen to Your Heart (acoustic)--Cascada
2. I'll Be There for You (Friends Theme Song)--The Rembrandts
3. Celebrate Good Times--Kool & The Gang
4. Eye of the Tiger--Survivor
5. Jack & Diane--John Mellencamp
6. We Will Rock You--Queen
7. No Scrubs--TLC
8. Conga--Gloria Estefan
9. Pour Some Sugar On Me (Acoustic)--Def Leppard
10. You're So Vain (How to Lose a Guy in 10 days!)--Carly Simon
11. Hold My Hand (Acoustic)--Hootie & the Blowfish
12. We Didn't Start the Fire--Billy Joel
13. Closing Time--Semisonic
14. Island in the Sun--Weezer
15. Someday--Sugar Ray
16. Fast Car--Tracy Chapman
17. Hey Girl--O.A.R
18. Ain't No Sunshine--Bill Withers
19. Stay--Dave Matthews
20. Bye Bye Bye--N'Sync
21. Jailhouse Rock--Elvis Presley

Amor, Abrazos, y Besos,

Kitzi

The Warmth of a Smile

"A smile is the shortest distance between two people" --Victor Borge

I have a new friend in Bolivia and it all started because of a smile.  Five days out of the week, I may not necessarily wake up with a smile on my face at 6:30am, but my frown is soon turned upside-down by the thought of seeing my new friend on my way to school.  Our interactions may last only a couple of seconds (no longer than a few minutes), but it is truly one of the most beautiful things that I am able to experience each day.

The more I walk the same streets of Cochabamba on my way to school, the more each face that I encounter becomes one of familiarity and comfort.  Senovia, on my second day of walking to school, was the first person to greet me with a great big smile and a "Buen Dia, Senorita" as I passed her.  Only about four blocks from the Institute, Senovia sits on the same rock right next to the sidewalk that I hike every morning.  She is a street food vendor during the day on that same property.  (I am honestly smiling writing this because just the thought of her puts this huge smile on my face and a permanent mark on my heart).  Because of our smiles, each new day encourages the blossoming of an even deeper friendship.  We may only have a few words to speak, but the warmth of her smile, the grasp of her hands on mine, and her kisses on both of my cheeks each day serve more than words ever could.

This past Friday, I was feeling extremely sick (I had a stomachache, a headache, and a low-grade fever) yet, I still had to walk about 25 minutes to get to school after my host dad dropped me off at our usual corner.  Stumbling up and down the cracked pavement on my way to school was horrendous.  Frustrated, tired, and cold, I couldn't think of a worse punishment for being sick that day.  However, I was greeted with the most beautiful smile, strong hands, and kind eyes when I reached her perch, and sent off with a "Que te vayas bien. Vaya con Dios".  I couldn't help but continue to walk with my chin up and a big smile on my face as I continued to school.  Although I was still physically and mentally run down throughout my classes, my spirit and heart were lifted to the sky.

After sleeping all day after returning home on Friday, I woke up feeling much better early Saturday morning and was ready to take a tour of a few different service site options with the Maryknoll Institute.  Since Vanesa and Raul were still sleeping, I needed to take both a Micro and a Trufi in order to get to the Institute on time.  Catching the Micro was no problem at all.  However, trying to catch a Trufi in the morning was a disaster.  There were about three Trufis that just passed me without slowing down at all (only one of them was full) and two in which people closed the door on me before I could even get into the car.  After waiting for a while, I was finally able to sneak into a Trufi after another Bolivian before it could take off down the Avenida.  As I approached my corner stop, I looked to my right only to see Senovia looking up towards the street.  I looked at her with a smile and waved to her from the Trufi...and she smiled and waved back :) It is amazing how someone can make you feel so important and change your entire day around after being feeling so small and neglected on the streets of a new city.

These next two weeks, I start my classes at 8:00am rather than 8:50am like I did last week...which means that I can't get a ride from my host dad in the morning! Even though I don't walk by her rock anymore, I have the Trufi driver drop me off further from the Institute just so I can greet Sunovia in the morning.  I've also started stopping by to greet her after my classes, as well.  What a beautiful, beautiful woman I am blessed to know.

Smile :) It's what makes the world go 'round...and you never know who needs your beautiful smile :) 

Muchos Abrazos, Besos, y Sonrisas (smiles),

Kitzi                        

Lungs & Buns of Steel

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.  What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.  Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything." --Pedro Arrupe, SJ

This past Monday (January 16--MLK Day in the US), I began my first of many Spanish classes at the Maryknoll Language Institute in Cochabamba.  I have to confess that I was more worried about starting school than I was about flying into Cochabamba, meeting my host family, and living in a new country combined.  Sounds funny, I know, but hear me out.  I've been happily out of school since May and have loved being able to research social justice issues freely and have workshops during training in which tests were not important and learning was the primary goal.  Not to say that I don't enjoy school, because I do...I just don't enjoy the stress that goes along with it!  Much much love to my alma mater, but I have been so much less stressed out since I've graduated and I'm very grateful for the change of pace...or at least a change of pace when it comes to school, work, and the general stride of life.  My walking pace, on the other hand, may be getting much faster.

Out of all of the students at the Maryknoll Institute, I live the farthest away.  My nueva amiga, Claire, has about a ten minute walk.  Donna, one of the Maryknoll Missioners, has a ten minute walk, as well.  Michael has about a 10-15 minute walk.  Most of the others live within comfortable walking distance from the Institute.  Me? It takes me an hour to walk all the way to school.  I have many options when it comes to getting to school in the morning...and they are always different.  I never know how I will be getting to school until 10pm the day before and I never know how I will be getting home from the Institute until after class ends.  I prepare to walk the hour and if I happen to have a ride, I graciously accept.

The Maryknoll Institute

(Picture taken by MICHAEL. He posted a picture on his blog before me,

so it has to be documented. Nice work, Miguel) 

Most days, I welcome the hour walk to school in the morning.  Cochabamba is blessed with the most wonderful weather.  In the mornings, if it is cold (and I say that with the least emphasis possible), I wear a light sweater to begin the walk...the only thing that could make this walk a little less enjoyable (besides the big hill near my house) is the rain.  When I start my walk at 7:30am, the sun is newly risen, the people are either driving or walking to work, and the city is awakening into its normal bustle.  Having the opportunity to walk to school has really opened my eyes to the feel of the city.  I'm a firm believer that you can never truly know a place until you have walked its streets along with the local residents, and my experience in Bolivia, thus far, has only confirmed this belief.  After just one week, some of the locals say hello to me before I even have a chance to say "Buen Dia" first.

One of the streets that I walk by every day

I do have other options when it comes to getting to and from school.

1. On the days that my host dad (a lawyer) works at his office, he will drop me off at one of the corners on the main street...about half-way between our house and the institute.  25 minutes is about the perfect walking distance, so I really appreciate the days when we can make this work.  
2. On days that my host dad doesn't work or has to be at a different place in the city, I have a few options: 
1. I can walk 20 minutes down our massive hill and continue on the main street for about 10 minutes to catch a Trufi or Taxi/Trufi to get to a corner near my school and then walk another 5-10 minutes to enter the Institute
2. I can flag down a Micro (a small version of a school bus that is painted in many different colors) a few blocks from my house and get off across from one of the major gas stations so that I can flag down a Trufi to take me the rest of the way to school.  Did I mention that there are no bus stops here? 
3. A combination of the above two options. 
3. On the way back from school, my host dad usually calls me on the local cell phone that I now own (after a very confusing trip to one of the cell phone carriers), and explains to me how I'm going to get home.  Sometimes I have no idea what he tells me.  By the end of the conversation, I usually ask him if he wants me to walk back to the house per usual and he replies "Si".  I've recently learned what his calls mean.  While I was walking back from school one day, I heard a really loud honking of a car horn next to me.  Car horns are normal here, but when it continued, I got a little skeptical and the following thoughts ran through my head: Oh God, whatever you do, just keep walking and do NOT look to the right. KEEP GOING.  After a few minutes, I heard my name called amidst the honking...It was my HOST DAD. Thank God.  I now know that when he calls me and says something about driving, he means that he will find me on the main street while I'm walking back towards the house.   

[Addendum I: I really need to watch my words.  I wrote most of this post last night and it turns out that I still have no idea what is going on when it comes to my after school transportation.  When I got out of the car this morning, I asked my host dad if he wanted me to walk toward the house as usual and meet me somewhere on the Avenida.  I heard him say "si" and so I figured I was good to go.  Happy with my transportation comprehension, I headed back toward the house after school.  Well, I ended up walking the ENTIRE WAY back home.  I was recently curious to see how far away my house really was from school and I learned that it is about 3.5 miles each way...with the entire last half of a mile directly uphill.  I contemplated flagging for the bus just to go up the hill but I shortly recognized the ridiculousness of that idea and pushed on.  Gotta start somewhere right?  Needless to say, I made it back the house with my legs and lungs still intact, but I was happy to see my bed right where I left it this morning.  Commence siesta.  For the reference, I enjoy walking to school much more than I enjoy walking back from school.  Who knew that walking down hill could be so much easier than walking up it with a heavy backpack?]

Change the shorts to jeans and this is what I probably
look like walking down the street...waist band and all.
(photo taken by Tim Nendick in El Paso, TX 2010)

After all of these decisions and public transportation switches, sometimes it is just easier to walk...plus after all the food that I eat at my house, I really crave the exercise.  I'm going to have lungs and buns of steel by the time I leave my host family as my daily walks are more like hikes.  Sidewalks are not even...at all...and there are broken steps and other driveways that go up and down at different angles.  I usually look at it like this: I get to hike every morning.  If I just look up towards the hills that I don't get to walk, sometimes I truly believe it.  I'll try to get a picture of my hill in the next few days.  Sometimes I really wish I lived closer to the Institute so that I could attend more of the little events later in the afternoon or go to the Institute to study and use the free internet, but I love my family, so that thought soon disappears.

[Addendum II:  It is funny that I mentioned rain because it DOWNPOURED here this morning...and due to the rain, I didn't sleep all that well.  I woke up at 5am--pouring, but I still had about 2 hours before I needed to leave the house.  6am--still pouring, but I still had another hour for the rain to stop.  7am--still pouring.  Darn it...looked like I was walking in the rain after breakfast and I was almost soaked just going up the stairs to breakfast with my family! Luckily, Raul was heading to the office today and so he actually went past our usual corner to drop me off closer to school.  As I began to walk toward the Institute, I began to notice something.  The rain isn't the part to worry about.  Instead, I had to dodge the cars that were parting the Red Sea in the newly-made rivers.  I never realized that cars could ford the river without a raft and oxen (catch the Oregon Trail reference?).  Luckily, I swam through the current without any major casualties.  Just remember: abandon the wagon if it makes you sink when you are fording the river. Words to live by, right, Sarah Zingerman? I gave her those words of advice a few months ago.  Works like a charm]                

After all of the decisions I have to make before even getting to the school, I'm glad that my fear of class was immediately crushed when I met my classmates and professors for the first time.  Don't get me wrong...I have a TON of work to do, but I have loved my classes so far.  Each day, I start class at 8:50am with my first professor.  I have four classes each day with four different professors throughout the day. All of my classes are one-on-one...just me and the professor.  No more hiding in the back and letting other students answer the questions in Spanish class.  The curriculum for each of my classes was determined solely upon my own Spanish level and the different things that I am interested in learning about--in conversation and grammar.  We have an extended coffee break each day at 9:30am and, after a week, I love my coffee break even more than I did when I first arrived at the Institute.  It even gets better throughout the week.

In the Institute, I can have really decent conversations with my professors! I've discussed issues such as poverty in the United States, the public school system, and Native American Reservations with my professors in SPANISH.  I get out of class feeling really great about my progress and my ability to hold a somewhat decent conversation.  However, this feeling is soon stripped away once I'm back on the city streets and realize that the general public does not speak clearly, slowly, and with familiar vocabulary.  I constantly make a fool out of myself while talking to my host parents, other family members, and Cochabambinos, but I'm learning! Humility first...then, language progress.

After my walk back home every day, I eat lunch with Vanesa, Raul, and Ariana and then go downstairs to my room to take a nap.  An hour walk to school, 4 hours of straight Spanish learning, and a walk back home makes for a very tiring first half of the day! I've apparently made up my own word for naps...dormitito.  Bolivians add -ito and -itito to so many words, so I figured I was maybe on the right track.  My host mom just laughed when I told her I was going to take a dormitito.  Needless to say, it is not a word...however, we use it in my house now all the time.

And then I spend a lot of time in the kitchenette with my 500 page Spanish Textbook until dinner....

Coffee, Cookies, Music, Lots of Colors, Dictionary, Notebook, and Textbook

I have a feeling this is how my weekdays will look for the next five weeks of language school.

Weekends, however, are a whole different story.  Before I go to bed on Friday or Saturday night, I always ask Vanesa if we have any plans for the next day.  Most frequently she says, "No. No hay planes".  I want to make sure I walk up the stairs for breakfast at an earlier time if we have plans.  If we don't have plans, I'll usually spend some time reading or studying in the morning in my room before venturing upstairs to the main part of the house.  Even after breakfast, it gives me a good idea of when I'll be able to study and how I'll be able to study.  I like to wear a t-shirt and running shorts while I study during the weekends...very laid back and comfortable with the warm weather.  However, this comfort is frequently broken with a knock on the door, a "Vamos. Vamos. Listo? Tu necesitas llevar otros pantalones".  Or in English: "Let's go. Let's go.  Are you ready? You need to wear other pants".  Before I know it, I'm rushing to put on a pair of jeans and grab my purse as the family is already heading out the door.  Where are we going? I have absolutely NO IDEA.  All I know is that I'm in the car going somewhere.  I generally don't find out until we actually arrive at our destination.

On our way to our final destination, we stop to run a few errands.  Raul pulls the car over to the side of the road, puts the hazards lights on, and then gets out of the car while Vanesa, Ariana, and I stay in the car.  With many stops, it is hard to know when to actually roll up my window before he shuts the engine off and get out of the car at our final destination...or if we actually have a final destination.  You're probably wondering why I don't ask where we are going...it's a good question.  However, I've learned that when I ask where we are going, I learn about the next stop...not about the entire trip.  I've decided that it's better just to enjoy the moment and see what happens.  Plus it feels more like an adventure when I don't know what's happening.  I've learned to be extremely flexible with my time and to just go with the flow.  We often end up at the house of a family member or at a place to eat with family members or friends.  Most events revolve around eating, so food is usually a good guess when I don't know what we are doing.  I also have the privilege of listening to the Bolivian radio while in the car...and I, of course, have more songs to add to my Bolivian playlist this week.  I'm just so intrigued by the choices of music here and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

My Bolivian Playlist:

1. Again--Lenny Kravitz
2. Don't You Forget About Me--Simple Minds
3. Everyday--Dave Matthews Band
4. Sunday Morning (Acoustic)--Maroon 5
5. Name (Acoustic)--Goo Goo Dolls
6. American Idiot--Green Day
7. Satellite--Dave Matthews Band
8. Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For--U2
9. Intuition--Jewel
10. Love Potion #9--The Clovers
11. Thriller--Michael Jackson
12. The Joker--Steve Miller Band
13. Why the Words You Say--Dave Matthews Band (they are really lovin' on Dave Matthews, Tara Ryan!)
14. This Love--Maroon 5
15. Kung Fu Fighting--Carl Douglas
16. Free Falling--Tom Petty
17. Why Can't We Be Friends--War
18. Brick House--The Commodores
19. Push It--Salt 'n Peppa
20. Wonderful Tonight--Eric Clapton
21. Hey, Hey Sloopy--The McCoys
22. Jaded--Aerosmith
23. Truly, Madly, Deeply--Savage Garden

I'm also learning about plumbing and electricity while I'm here.  My toilet won't work unless I open the top tank and lift up the lever every time I use the bathroom.  I've also learned that there is a way to turn on and off the water tank.  My family turns it off when we leave and then turns it back on when we come back to the house.  Here is a picture of the way we turn it on and off:

I feel like open wires, an electrical outlet, and rain are probably not a good combination

?

And babysitting, of course! I watch Ariana for a little bit each day while Vanesa cleans the kitchen and takes a shower.

When Vanesa, Ariana, and I spend time together, you can frequently find us working out to a Spanish dance video.  My family is hilarious...which is probably why I get along with them so well.  My host dad will walk around the house singing ridiculously to make Ariana laugh.  Vanesa will just start dancing randomly with Ariana.  It is fantastic.  I fit right in.              

I've had the opportunity to experience La Cancha (the largest open-air market in Bolivia).  I hope that I can bring my nice camera there at some point during my two years...it is just a phenomenal place with so much culture and excitement that I would love to be able to share.  I need to learn more about the culture, language, and safety before I can even think about that!

I did have a chance to take a few pictures with my nice camera while on my host family's property, though! It was so good to get my hands on it again.

Our clothes drying on the clothesline in our backyard

At sunset

Another view from my backyard

After having the opportunity to take a few pictures and then see a few sketches created by my friend, Carla, in Ethiopia, I was really inspired to try out a sketch.  I'm not a good artist, by any means, but I have to start somewhere!

A sketch of my backyard from the patio

The scene I tried to replicate

And I'll leave you with a list of things that I'm really happy I brought with me to Bolivia:

1. Markers and Colored Pens--for any of you wondering, my notes are still colorful :)
2. A notebook--Bolivians really like graph paper here
3. Gummy Vitamins--Can't go wrong with Gummy Vitamins
4. Only 3 pairs of shoes--sandals, a good pair of running shoes, and my vans
5. A waterbottle--I actually have two that hopefully will last me throughout my two years!
6. Colored paper--to make cards!
7. A few headbands--can't forget those!
8. My backpack--it lasted me through high school, Japan, and college...it's worth the trip
9. A sense of humor
10. Dental Floss (thanks to Carlos for that suggestion!)--I have yet to see it here
11. Chapstick
12. (Guys you can skip this one) 2 years worth of tampons--Again, I have yet to see them here
13. A waterproof watch--it made it through college
14. My short hair that is long enough to be put up every day
15. Spanish Dictionary from High School
16. A little journal that fits in my purse
17. A two-to-three plug outlet converter! I brought three and have given two to other students at the Institute
18. An appetite--although it is not as big as I need it to be at my house!
19. A rain jacket!

Muchos Abrazos and Besitos!

Kitzi